Tag Archives: respect

Resolving Differences

18 Nov

On November 7, 2013 Austin Talks published a rebuttal to several articles that had recently appeared in the Chicago Tribune (http://tinyurl.com/knwxl3y). The author, Dwayne Truss, offered strong counterpoints to the continual onslaught of negative press. His arguments were thoughtful and well presented. His experience as an advocate and board member has given him the ability to understand how to successfully negotiate adverse and somewhat cynical viewpoints.

Many of us understand that disagreements are a healthy part of the body politic but are we teaching our young people how to resolve conflicts? In an academic article titled Why We Have Been More Successful at Reducing Tobacco Use Than Violent Crime (http://tinyurl.com/myw2g9z), the authors suggest that efforts to combat violent crime are fragmented and that it has proven to be difficult to generate support for preventive programs and policies.

Teens often believe they have no choice in a disagreement but to fight. This can be blamed in part on the media’s need to highlight violence as well as the misguided societal view that avoiding a fight is a sign of weakness. Conflict resolution can be used to countermand these issues, as well as the lack of control that many teens experience. It offers methods to work through and resolve disputes that do not involve violence and can, if properly implemented, create a win-win situation for both of the parties involved.

The actual techniques are amazingly simple but it is necessary to understand how they work. The first is to teach both parties to listen to one another. Listening is not simply waiting your turn to speak; instead it is hearing what the other person has to say without passing judgment or interrupting them if you disagree with their version of the story. Both people need to agree upon what the issue really is; bringing baggage from previous conflicts or the opinions of others obscures the real problem. The final component is respect, something that even adults sometimes lose track of when in a heated disagreement. It is important to understand that showing courtesy and respect for a differing viewpoint does not diminish your own. Solving a problem or resolving a disagreement is not about declaring a winner; it is about finding a solution that can satisfy both parties.

Conflict doesn’t have to be negative as it provides everyone with an opportunity to examine their attitudes and beliefs in light of other dissonant viewpoints. Implement these strategies in your own life as well as modeling them for the teens that you come into contact with. There are more even more techniques on-line in http://tinyurl.com/kwhh257. On this anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s death, this quote is especially appropriate “So, let us not be blind to our differences – but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.”

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